Cinderella had to leave the ball at midnight. But what if the time comes when your party is scheduled to end, and your guests are having too much fun to quit? What should you do?

Bands, deejays, decor, and even the venue where you hold your event are usually booked by the hour (or in 4-hour blocks.) Overtime may be included in your contracts with them. Thus, if the party is rocking and you don’t want to stop at the appointed hour, you already know how much the additional time is going to cost you. The band plays on, and everybody’s happy.

But what if you haven’t made arrangements in advance, and you wish to continue? What is the right way to handle the issue of overtime? Here are my thoughts:

1. Consult your music provider before they start tearing down. If you stop paying for music at midnight, and haven’t told them otherwise, by 5 minutes after the hour your band may have already unplugged speakers, amps, and instruments and be coiling their cords. It could take 15 long, boring minutes to plug everything back in its rightful place. During that brief period, the energy from your guests that made you want to continue will have dissipated, and the dance floor will be empty. If you are the host (and/or decision maker), it is your responsibility to keep track of the clock and keep the music going – not re-start it after it has already stopped.

2. Offer your band or deejay a specified bonus for staying late. Veteran bands have learned – the “hard way” – that offering to pass the hat among the crowd rarely results in enough money to make it worth the extra time and trouble. Saying “I’ll give you $200 for 15 more minutes” lets everybody know how much they will earn and how long they will have to stay to earn it.

3. Be sure your venue is on board for the overtime. Often, the real hidden cost of overtime comes not from the band, but from venue. Every captain, waiter, bus boy, and bartender also has to be paid. There may be fees from the decor-provider and florist, who have sent crews to pick up the room decorations. And – of course – there is the price of any extra liquor consumed to be factored in. It can get expensive in a hurry.

But there is an alternative to any of these extra costs you might consider. And it is one which should be familiar to every concert-goer. It is the famous “fake exit” all entertainers make, before coming back for their encores. I suggest that instead of hiring your band until midnight (for example), you engage them from 8:15 to 12:15. As midnight approaches, let them announce the “last dance.” If everybody is then ready to go home, then your band gets a 15 minute bonus. But – if the crowd demands more – you have a 15-minute window built into your budget. There will be time for 3 to 5 additional songs. The crowd will leave happy (because they got “extra” dance time), the band will be happy (because they didn’t have to go through the uncertainty and hassles of last-minute negotiations), and you will be happy (because what seems like “extra” time to your guests was already factored into your budget.)

When you go to the trouble of having a dance floor and band or deejay at your party, you naturally hope that your guests will dance. But hoping alone won’t make it so. A few extra steps may be required.

1. Set the mood. A big dance floor effectively tells your guests that you expect them to dance. Keeping the lighting lower in that area adds to the comfort of those who would like to dance, but don’t want to feel like they are on display.

2. Provide “social lubrication.” Alcohol relaxes inhibitions. Typical guests who have had a glass or two of wine are more likely to venture onto the dance floor than those who are stone cold sober.

3. Play the right tunes. Older guests tend to dance first. Starting out the evening with some of their favorite songs (played at a comfortable volume) will help get things going. Don’t panic if your youngest guests won’t dance until the last hour of the party. They need lots of lubrication.

4. “Prime the pump.” Guests tend to run the spectrum. At one end are those who don’t mind being first on the dance floor, and at the opposite – those who will never in a million years set foot out there. Most of your guests lie somewhere in the middle of these two extremes, and are categorized simply by how many others must be dancing before they will take part. Arranging in advance to have a few couples made up of your key friends dance early and often will lead – in turn – to additional dancers who only need a few other bodies on the floor joining in. Their presence will provide enough cover for the moderately shy to feel safe. And ultimately, a full dance floor will encourage even the most severely inhibited to hide out in the middle of the pack.

5. Play “Follow The Leader.” All parties follow the example of the hosts and guests of honor. If the host and hostess are dancing, friends and family naturally join in. (Conversely – when their hosts sit – guests do too.)

To recap, create a mood that encourages dancing, play what your guests what to hear, and – especially early in the evening – lead by example. And you’ll have a full dance floor all night long!

Years ago, naive concert goers actually thought that the music they were hearing at a “Live! In Person!” event was… “live.” (Silly people.) The discovery that Electric Light Orchestra was “sweetening” – or augmenting – their concert sound with sequenced (pre-recorded) tracks created a minor scandal. But soon, the practice became common, and had the benefit of allowing the Bee Gees, for example, to re-create the multi-tracked vocals of their hit recordings before live audiences.

Nowadays, through a reverse Darwinian process called “De-volution,” arena artists don’t even pretend to be “live.” Britney and Beyonce lip-synch openly, if not so brazenly as Miley Cyrus – whose voice continues to be heard on-stage, even as she changes costumes in her dressing room (replaced by a dance double.)

It was only a matter of time before similar practices were adopted by club and party bands. Which is why today you can hire an all-male trio whose sound includes female voices (along with horns and strings.) Indeed, you can hire groups whose pre-recorded sound is so full, that your “live” musicians seem to be doing little more than just playing along with the track. There’s a name for this “new” form of musical entertainment. And that name is KARAOKE!

Now – if you know what you are hiring and are happy with the sequenced sounds of Milli Vanilli, then that is exactly what you should have. My only complaint is with any band whose demos and promo material fail to make clear what is “real” and what is “reel to reel.” One quartet of my acquaintance advertises their “Phat Trax,” letting potential buyers know that – yes – it is (at least partially) Memorex. But another track-using local band’s website simply refers to their “big sound,” and I find that deceptive.

If this trend continues to its logical conclusion, ever fewer live band members will show up. Soon, the music will all be canned. And there’s a name for that form of party entertainment, too: it’s called a DEEJAY!

Gen. George S. Patton used to say, “When in doubt – ATTACK!”

Closer to home (and to my chosen career) Country Music host Johnnie High told me 15 years ago, “When making a change, UPGRADE!” My band at that time had been a 5-piece group in which everybody sang, allowing us to have some of the hippest harmonies in town. When we lost one of our 2 female vocalists, Johnnie gave me advice that I heeded. Since we still had 4 good singers, I added 2 horns – a sax and trumpet. Suddenly, we were much more than just a vocal band. We had an instrumental fullness that was entirely new (and very marketable.)

But now, it is time for more changes. Wall Street may have recouped its recent financial losses, but the party business – like many others – has not experienced a similar recovery. A number of good bands, including two that I recommended often, have folded. So, how are we surviving? By attacking and upgrading, of course!

While other groups are re-trenching, we have expanded our variety band to include a 9-member option, the biggest group I’ve ever worked with. Because of the current popularity of Swing dance music, we’ve also begun promoting “The Swing Set,” our Jitterbug-Push ensemble. For Baby Boomers like me who treasure the music of those “glory days,” our “Classix Gold” show and dance unit spotlights the music of the 60s and 70s. We’re even upgrading our venerable Country incarnation. Because there are so many C&W groups around, we’ve chosen to focus on Texas music, and thus also include Buddy Holly with our George Strait hits.

I’m happy to report that these changes are being well received, by dancers and party professionals alike (some of whom probably thought we were overdue for a make-over.)

So, if your business, special event, or worthy organization is still lagging behind your goals during these sluggish economic times, let me suggest that you too heed Johnnie High and George Patton’s advice. If nothing else, it will help you stand out from the crowd.

It’s also good to remember another of Gen. Patton’s maxims for success: “Lead, follow, or get out of the way!”

Here’s the scenario: You are hosting a formal gala. Your band arrives to set up their equipment. You assume that they are wearing their T-shirts and jeans for load-in purposes only. But – when the event begins – you realize: that’s how they’re gonna dress at your party!

Most bands dress casually for club dates, then bring their tuxes to weddings and other formal occasions. But for you to simply assume that they will upgrade their wardrobe at your party could be a big mistake. You need to make your expectations known, including them in your contract.

Other vendors, too, may have wardrobe malfunctions. Many video and photo crews show up in tux (or at least coat and tie), while some have adopted the all-black Johnny Cash/Emo/Ninja look that is popular today. Occasionally, however, they come to your classy event wearing something less-than-classy.

If it’s your party and you are okay with your vendors being casual, then that is your prerogative. However, if you have a dress code in mind, a phone call is in order.

In fact, checking in with each of your vendors is a good idea, even when their contracts call for a certain style of dress. Mistakes happen. (Indeed, my band once showed up in tuxes for what turned out to be a Country/Western party. It wasn’t a huge problem – we were just an exceptionally well-dressed bunch of boot-scooters. But if the situation had been reversed – and we’d shown up in sequins and cowboy boots for a tea dance – our hostess might have been a lot less forgiving.

So here’s a chance to help your party and ease your mind at the same time. Pick up the phone…

The folks who show up at class reunions have one really big thing in common: either they, or their dates, attended the same school at the same time.

Other than that, however, they may have shared very little – even when they were in school. Some were no doubt very social, while others may have been more focused on studies or sports. Consequently, it’s hard to plan a single event that appeals to everyone attending.

Saturday, I brought the music to a reunion whose planners came as close as humanly possible to having something for each attendee. How? Well, they made it look as easy as A – B – C.

A. The event was held in the ballroom of a country club. Just outside the ballroom, separated only by glass doors, was the bar area. Those who were more interested in talking than in the entertainment could still be within sight of the main room, yet able to visit at much more conversational levels. This room was decorated with posters made of enlarged photos from school annuals. (Even I enjoyed browsing there, and it wasn’t even my school.)

B. During the dinner hour, we were instructed to keep our music level low, so that guests who hadn’t seen each other in decades could catch up on each others’ lives. Between courses, committee members made a few special announcements, thanked volunteers, and awarded gifts to certain class members (like those who came the farthest to attend.) The dance floor was used as the gathering place for a class photo at this time.

C. At the conclusion of the dinner, the band and I put on a brief show, geared to the songs and events of their graduation year. In this way, dancers and non-dancers alike had entertainment, planned especially for them. Afterward, we became a dance band, taking requests from the attendees.

At that point, the party goers had the option of dancing, visiting with one another in the ballroom, or going to the relative quiet of the bar area – to look at school memorabilia or continue chatting.

As nearly as I could tell, a good time was had by all. And that’s the hallmark of a successful event.

Successful fund-raising events combine treating guests to a good time with bringing in a lot of money for a worthy cause. Any gathering which fails in either of these criteria cannot be deemed a success.

To that end, two elements of most fund raisers are the Live and Silent Auctions. Both of these depend on the goodwill of two constituencies – the buyers and the donors. As mentioned above, buyers must have fun, and must feel like they are appreciated.

Donors, however, also deserve royal treatment. Without them, there would be no items for the buyers to bid on, and the beneficiaries of the charities involved would suffer. Unfortunately, donors aren’t always afforded the consideration they deserve.

And by “consideration,” I don’t mean money. Most entertainers I know are happy to donate their talents for worthy causes, and don’t expect money in return. What they do have a right to anticipate is that the good folks at the charity offices will bend over backwards to be accommodating. (I for one would be less than thrilled to find that the charity was allowing the folks who bought my “freebie” to cash it in on a Saturday in December, for example.)

That hasn’t happened. But I did have an incident recently where a charity paired my services with a barbecue dinner at a ranch well outside our metropolitan area. This added hours to the total amount of time I was donating. The trouble was – I had never been asked, nor had I agreed to, this “extra” donation.

It kind of reminded me of the old joke in which a judge tells the defendant, “I sentence you to 20 years in prison – what do you think of that?” And the defendant replies, “I think you are being very liberal with my time, that’s what!”

I thought that the charity was being kind of liberal with mine, too, and that I deserved the courtesy of an advance call. Common courtesy to those who donate their time, talents, goods, and services should be automatic.

Let’s face it – there are lots of worthy causes, each vying for the same donors. If your favorite charity becomes a little casual about showing their appreciation, sooner or later donations will go down.

So when it’s your turn on the charity committee, treat those paying customers nice. But – in every way you can – show just as much gratitude to your donors. Let them see how much you value them as an essential source of revenue.

Otherwise, you will eventually have a really small group of items to auction off.

Some folks (my wife, for one) have a very limited temperature comfort range. When the thermometer dips below 70 degrees, she hauls out the electric blanket. And if it goes above 80, she melts.

She’s not alone. I would even posit that most party goers dance less when the room temperature goes above 76 degrees, and leave earlier when it dips below 72. We are comfort-loving creatures, and temperature is a big part of what adds to (or detracts from) our sense of comfort.

This is yet another reason why I love parties inside big temperature-controlled ballrooms. Simply put, those events limit weather’s influence on an event to just the drive to and from the venue. Once inside, Mother Nature becomes a non-factor.

But twice in the past week, I’ve been the music provider at outdoor events. Mid-October is usually a fairly reliable time in my town to stage al fresco soirees (or “outdoor parties,” if you prefer.) But this particular autumn has been rather brisk, damp, and windy. And at both recent gatherings “brisk, damp, and windy” became Strikes 1, 2, and 3.

One was a misty evening affair, at which the buffet tables were indoors – and so were all the guests. No amount of urging from the hosts could get the crowd to come outside for the musical presentation honoring the night’s special guest. The other event was a barbecue luncheon held at a ranch outside town. Guests who parked along the long dirt and gravel driveway and trekked up to the ranch house patio, found their Gucci boots speckled with mud. Soon, their fashionable and expensive western ensembles were wrapped inside an assortment of un-fashionable – but warm – jackets and coats. It wasn’t a disaster, but it wasn’t a party that everyone will remember for all the right reasons, either.

As a party veteran, I have to admit that – Yes! – an outdoor event held in perfect weather is a wonderful thing. But realistically, how many perfect evenings are there, in any given year? (A local meteorologist once told me that – in our area – the answer to that question is “30″. 30 perfect nights a year.) That leaves about 335 nights annually that are either a little – or a lot – too cold, too hot, or too humid. It either has rained, or threatens to do so soon. Dust, flies, mosquitoes, smog, or wind are factors.

In other words, we have about a 1 in 12 chance of “perfect” weather.

Since that is the reality, I recommend that those considering outdoor events follow these 2 courses of action:
1. Make the event casual, and encourage guests to dress appropriately for the weather.
2. Have a tent, house, or other nearby structure to which the party can move on short notice (in case of severe weather.) Never invite more guests than you will safely fit into your back-up venue.

But my best advice is to simply remove weather as a consideration at all. Give yourself one less thing to worry about. Go indoors.

We celebrated our third annual surprise birthday party for my brother John last night.

(Okay – I’m pretty sure that the first one was a surprise. He doesn’t seem as shocked any more.)

It was a community effort, in that just about all the guests contributed something edible or potable (that’s food and drink, for you fans of plain English).

And therein lies both the strength and weakness of such a joint project. Usually, at “pot luck” gatherings, folks bring something they do well. This means each individual dish is excellent. It also lessens the work load on the hostess. All of these are good things.

Of course, it also means that – sometimes – you wind up with 2 very similar potato salads, but no desserts.

For our party, everybody coordinated their contributions with my wife Gina. In this way, there was no duplication. It turned out great.

Some hostesses, though, actually prefer the do-it-yourself style of party. An annual New Year’s Day event we attend is master-planned to the tiniest detail. It would be unthinkable (as well as most unappreciated) for us to bring a dish to such an event.

Communication is the key. “Can we bring anything?” is a great question to ask when phoning in your RSVP. If the hostess says “No,” that should pretty much end the discussion. But if she is open to a contribution, be specific. Your hostess should always know what’s coming in the door.

A few other hints:

If you have any picky eaters in your group (ie. toddlers or Uncle “Meat & Taters” Harry), volunteer to bring a dish they are guaranteed to enjoy – with the approval of your hostess.

If you have a special drink preference that might not be in everyone’s cabinet (from Diet Dr. Pepper to a specific brand of beer), offer to import it with you – if your hostess agrees.

See the common theme here? If the party is at someone else’s house, they get the final say-so. Oh – and never crowd a hostess in her own kitchen. In fact, saying “I’m available, if you’d like any help” is infinitely preferable to barging in and putting on an apron. No matter how well-intentioned you are, your “assistance” may not be appreciated, when you haven’t been asked to help.

For the good of the party (and for your continuing relationship with those putting it on), limit your inner control freak. Sometimes, your best contribution to a party is simply to be a gracious guest and enjoy yourself.

Having a tentative schedule of the events at your party is a good thing. Being slavishly locked in to that schedule is – unfortunately – not so good.

In the first place, your guests have their own timetables. And they may be very different from yours.

If you have a cocktail hour outside the ballroom, just getting the guests in the door may take twice as long as you budgeted. (Some hosts even resort to “crowd herders,” to shepherd guests into the ballroom in a timely fashion.)

However, other invitees – older ones especially – may already be in the room and at their seats when the dinner chimes sound.

Invocations, words of welcome, and toasts are also notoriously variable in length. A 30-second prayer that was scheduled to last for 2 minutes doesn’t do much damage to your schedule. But Uncle Harry’s “toast” that turns into a stand-up comedy routine can leave your banquet staff wondering whether to serve now – on schedule – or to let the soup get cold, waiting for Harry to shut up and sit down.

Also, parties rarely end exactly as predicted. Brides and grooms, stressed from too many intense days in a row, may run out of energy an hour before their planned departure. Other galas may practically scream for overtime. In either case, sticking to what you thought was appropriate timing ignores the real-world needs of your event.

Your catering staff, music supplier, and other vendors do need to have an approximate idea of the flow of the evening. But – as party professionals – they already know that your well-thought-out agenda is just a guideline, and is not chiseled in stone.

Time management is an important part of any successful event. But savvy event planners take into account that a few minutes more here or a few minutes less there, as needed, are the difference between a good party – and a great one.