Archive for July 6th, 2009

Who Really Killed Michael Jackson?

Monday, July 6th, 2009

Since his death June 25th, much speculation has been offered into who or what actually killed Michael Jackson. The 24/7 news channels have focused on his alleged use of Propofol, Demerol, and a variety of other heavy-duty pain killers/knock-out drops. Toxicology results will be issued in due time.

But there’s no need to wait. You, lucky reader, will get the answer right here, right now. Well – not right now. Let me toy with you for just a minute.

You see, the King of Pop died from the same malady that killed his former late-father-in-law, the King of Rock and Roll. Elvis also kept a well-equipped home pharmacy supplied by yet another all-too willing Dr. Feelgood. But here’s the scoop: no matter what you may have heard, drugs didn’t kill either Elvis or Michael. What did?

Both men died because not one single person loved them enough to tell them “no.”

Let that sink in for just a moment, please. Then think back to Elvis. If just one person had said to him, “El, I think you’ve had enough fried banana sandwiches for one day,” he might still be alive. He could have lived, if only somebody had cared about him enough to say, “Instead of using that heavy-duty prescription laxative again, how about drinking this bottle of water while we go on a nice long walk together?”

But did anybody do that? Did any family member stage an Overeater’s Anonymous intervention? Apparently not.

Perhaps if Bubbles the Chimp could have talked, Michael might have heard some similar hard truths, like “Michael, that third nose job was plenty.” Or the old politician’s adage, “Never be caught in bed with a live boy or a dead woman.”

In all fairness, sister Janet apparently did plan an Intervention. But Michael got wind of it, and threatened to lock the family out of Neverland Ranch. (NOTE TO JANET: Nice try, but – number 1 – we usually don’t tell the guest of honor that he’s about to be intervened. And – number 2 – someplace away from Neverland’s secret passageways and bedroom alarm system would have been preferred.)

Success doesn’t have to be terminal. And the even early adulation that Michael experienced can be overcome by loving – but not doting – friends and family. We in the real world could see that Michael needed serious help decades ago. Surely those closest to him could see it, too.

Yet, well-intentioned or not, they accomplished nothing. So who killed Michael Jackson? Hint: it wasn’t Bubbles.

Postscript: The incessant hype surrounding Michael completely obscured the June 30th obituary of one of Broadway’s greatest voices, Harve Presnell. Ironically, Presnell was best known for a song he introduced in The Unsinkable Molly Brown. That song’s name? “I’ll Never Say No To You.” (Also known as the Presley-Jackson national anthem.)