Archive for December 10th, 2007

A Jerry Springer-Style Wedding Reception

Monday, December 10th, 2007

Until this past weekend, I’d never seen a family feud escalate into a full-blown fight at a wedding. During an otherwise blissful reception, a hockey game suddenly broke out on the dance floor! Except the combatants were wearing high heels instead of ice skates. That’s right – they wuz wimmen!

These gals turned what had been an elegant evening into an unusually well-dressed edition of “The Jerry Springer Show,” complete with screaming, slapping, and recriminations galore. You should have seen it!

Or rather, you shouldn’t. None of us should. Such a breach of common courtesy, sense, and decency should never have occurred. One member of the battling duo eventually suggested that they take their “discussion” outside, but they could still be clearly seen through the venue windows. Understandably, the mood of the event was somewhat strained afterwards. The mom-of-the-bride somehow maintained her poise through the duration of the evening, but the proud papa later looked devastated. I don’t blame him. This was his baby’s night – the product of hundreds of hours in planning and tens of thousands of dollars in expenses. Every effort had gone into making it exquisite. Whose relatives would ever sabotage such an evening?

Uh – well, if you think about your own family – maybe yours. Is there someone close to you whose belligerent behavior has disrupted a reunion, wedding, or funeral? Are there 2 people you love dearly – individually – but who, together, are like gasoline and a match? Such folks always have an excuse for their bad behavior; it’s never “their” fault. Lacking any sense of shame, they will not regulate themselves. So it is up to you to guarantee that your special event won’t be ruined by a similar incident. How?

The only sure way is to not invite anybody who has ever – even once – shown such an utter lack of self control at a family event. But, if that isn’t an option for you, you may be able to delegate an authority figure/babysitter to stay close to the loose cannon and head off any major eruptions. From experience I can also tell you that, once families stop making excuses for a relative’s bad behavior, there is often a dramatic improvement in that person’s actions.

Unfortunately, some folks – like our drama queens – simply refuse to conform to societal norms. My only suggestion for them is that they call 1-877-836-3414. Jerry Springer is always looking for new talent.