Archive for October 3rd, 2007

You Know It’s Time To Call Off The Wedding When…

Wednesday, October 3rd, 2007

Marriage is (or is supposed to be) a huge, life-changing experience. So as the date gets closer, some pre-wedding jitters are perfectly normal. How will you like seeing that same face every morning and night for the rest of your life? How will they like you, when they really get to know you?

Does your intended already have some habits that drive you slightly nuts? If so, do you think you can get them to change? What if they won’t? (Or can’t?)

If precisely such thoughts have caused what was once a small voice in the back your mind to start screaming “Time out,” “Slow down,” and even “I cannot go through with this!” – the good news is: you don’t have to. You have options. Some of them include:

1. Counseling. Sometimes, a little communication in the controlled environment of a psychologist’s office is all you’ll really need. It may well be that your partner had no idea their annoying habits were driving you up the wall. However, if counseling doesn’t work, you may want to consider…

2. Postponement. My bride and I postponed our wedding – and I’m glad we did. We both had baggage the size of steamer trunks from our previous relationships. The extra time allowed us to work our problems down to something closer to carry-on size.

However, when postponing still isn’t enough, there is always…

3. Cancellation. Give back the ring and the gifts, forfeit your deposits on the venue and band, and put the wedding dress in mothballs. It may be expensive and embarassing, but it’s a lot cheaper in the long run (and easier on your psyche) than going through with a bad marriage.

For what it’s worth, almost every time a wedding for which I’ve been hired gets cancelled, I receive a call within 6 months from that same bride saying she and her (usually new) guy are ready to take that big step. And I’ve never seen a two-time Runaway Bride yet.