Archive for September 10th, 2007

Attention Groomsmen: Turn OFF The TV!

Monday, September 10th, 2007

Let me be perfectly clear: televised sports have no place at formal events.

If you want to host a “Superbowl-Watching Party,” that’s fine – it’s a casual gathering. But at formal events, and especially weddings, the centers of everyone’s attention are the guests of honor. I don’t care who’s playing on the boob tube, or how important you think this game is. (Indeed, if it’s that important, stay home and watch it. Just don’t come to a wedding or other celebration and ignore the honorees!)

This weekend, my band played at a wedding reception for a family that had spent an entire year, and tens of thousands of dollars, creating a magical and memorable evening. No effort and no expense were spared in making this union of two delightful young people a night which could be enjoyed by every single guest, regardless of age. The comfort and pleasure of everyone invited had been taken into account, from the moment of their arrival, to the spectacular departure of the bride and groom by Venetian gondola. Every detail was meticulously planned, and nothing was overlooked.

Except the television set in the bar of the venue.

And what was on that TV? A football game. Was it a play-off between two arch-rivals? Was it an once-in-a-lifetime meeting of two future Hall of Famers? No! It might as well have been Red Neck Tech vs. Slippery Rock State. But that didn’t matter – it was a game! And soon, the groomsmen and several other macho lunkheads had abandoned their fair ladies for the testosterone-tinged ambience of the bar.

Of course, the party sank like the Titanic. By the time the Father-of-the-bride became aware of the situation and pulled the plug on the TV, nothing could be done to regain the lost momentum of the evening.

Fortunately for you, as you plan your reception, this tragedy is preventable. Instruct your venue to disconnect the tube, and threaten your groomsmen with their lives, should they wander off from the party.

As for me, I have faith in “Cosmic Balance.” I just know in my soul that one of those knot-heads from the bar will father a daughter some day. Then he will invest hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars to make her wedding a perfect fairy-tale evening. And – as sure as I believe that “what goes around, comes around” – on that night there will be a TV nearby, tuned to ESPN.

Let’s see how important “the big game” is to him, when it’s ruining his daughter’s reception.