Archive for August 27th, 2007

Pranks At The Wedding? NOT FUNNY, Guys!

Monday, August 27th, 2007

A few brides make it all the way through to the Honeymoon with their senses of humor intact. A majority, however, do not – and for reasons that even the most sensitive and caring of guys will never understand.

Men, the father-of-the-bride and the groom included, simply have no concept how much pressure the bride is under by her wedding day. Months of preparation, including (1) when and where the big event will take place; (2) who will be invited (or not); (3) who will be in the wedding party (or not); (4) how to keep food, flowers/decor, and music more or less within budget; and a couple of million other equally important choices directly impacting the success of the party all fall squarely on her shoulders alone.

Needless to say, most Best Men, Groomsmen, and male guests are completely clueless regarding how serious these decisions are to the bride. Consequently, they are totally unprepared when this normally sweet-tempered young lady is less than thrilled by any testosterone and/or alcohol-fueled antics they may cook up to make the nuptials “fun.”

Telling off-color stories about the groom at the rehearsal dinner or sabotaging his wedding wardrobe seems funny – to a group of inebriated males. But afterwards, when the bride isn’t laughing, they never quite realize just how juvenile and inappropriate their behavior has been.

So, let me put it in “guy terms” that they can understand. (Attention all grooms: relate the following to your fraternity brothers, old room-mates, and other would-be comedians. Repeat as needed. And memorize for yourself.)

Dude! You just won a new red Porsche 911 Turbo! It’s the one you always dreamed of, and is everything you ever hoped it would be. But – before you can even drive it – your ex-girlfriend and a bunch of her sorority sisters decide to prank you. With hot glue, feather boas, and a bunch of bumper stickers from some “leather” bars, they trick out your Dream Machine into a Gay Pimp-mobile! Now really, all the things they do can mostly be cleaned up. The permanent damage to your wheels is minimal. But the point is: that was your car, Man, not theirs. It was new and perfect. And they had no right to tamper with something so sacred to you! It wasn’t theirs to mess up – it was yours. I’m talkin’ yours, Dude!

Just like every wedding really belongs to the bride. It is the culmination of her life-long dream. And nobody has a right to disrupt it. Nobody. Ever. Got that, Dude?