Who’s Your Daddy?

Posted by Dave

A father-of-the-bride once explained to me his three duties: “Show up, pay up, and shut up!”

Actually, your Dad plays a number of symbolic roles as well. It is he who walks you down the aisle. As host of the wedding reception, he greets your guests and says how happy he is to welcome your groom into the family (whether he really means it or not.) And he fulfills the most sentimental task of the night, as he dances with the beautiful young bride who was so recently his “little girl.”

All of which is not a bit complicated… unless you have two Daddys.

Many of today’s brides must choose between honoring their birth-father or a step-parent they have come to love. The delicacy of such decisions can be agonizing, adding an entire new layer of stress to the proceedings. Under this growing pressure (or the influence of Valium) some will consider the following:

1. Letting both men share the Daddy-duties. In many blended families, your happiness will supercede any old animosities. So, your two “papa bears” could accompany you down the aisle, greet your friends, and dance with you.

2. Or, you might choose to have one Dad for the ceremony and the other for the reception.

3. Finally, you could simply close your eyes, say the word “Daddy,” and see whose face your mind pictures first.

The problem with all these options is: bridal etiquette requires that He Who Pays For The Wedding is your father-of-record for the evening. Thus, unless both gents are chipping in, (or, unless you are paying for the festivities yourself) only the one signing the checks gets to be your “official” Dad that night. Sorry – them’s are the rules.

Even so, once in a great while, a truly selfless and generous step-dad will graciously offer to move out of the spotlight, and allow the first man in his little girl’s life the dance that he himself has paid for and deserves. He does it because he loves the bride with all his heart, and doesn’t want anything to ruin her day.

At which point, someone should ask the lucky bride, “Now – who’s your Daddy?”


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